What I Am Not

I am diffuse
I have scattered and become a greater that is less
A fire dispersed to glowing cinders that extinguish when touched
I am the failing light
I am the fragile warm ash

I am diffuse and forceless
A deeply vague struggle to exist and not exist
Suspended and fragmenting in the spiraling current of the lives around me
I am fog in wind
I am sand in soil

I am diffuse and imperceptible
Wailing symphonies of sadness, weeping torrents of life force
It all pools to gray within vivid unreachable life
I am a ghost
I am my ghost

I am diffuse with fathomless distances between the parcels of my spirit
Poised in manic melodramatic stillness
The least purposeful of existences
I am barely here
I am almost nowhere